Conversations with a 3 year old

One of the most awesome part about having kids is the stuff that they say. I don't get embarrassed by penis talk in the store, I just explain it isn't the time or the place and on the inside I am laughing though my face is serious. I deserve every minute of store penis-talk. My step sister and I were horrible whenever we were in public, even once we knew better.

The other day my son told his grandmother that I feed him pretty rocks. I think he was talking about the fish tank. It came with that spongy stuff that makes up the background and bottom and looks like some sort of rock formation. Well it was starting to come apart, tiny pieces would fall off when I cleaned the tank and then I saw The Evil Fish That Kills Everything taking bites out of it so I decided it was time for some gravel. He picked out some purple gravel and a plant and I picked out a plant. He's been watching TEFTKE more now and he noticed that he eats the rocks and spits them back out. And he has to tell me about it every time he witnesses it so I know that it excites him.


Then my brother posts the following conversation on my facebook wall the other day, the "me" being my brother:

Me: **** did you eat at grandma Barb's
My son*: yes
Me: What did you eat?
My son*: poop
yeah he definitely your son

He's also convinced that I am a lesbian. Every single day, at least ten times if we're together all day, seriously at least ten times, I'm not exaggerating, ten times, he has to ask me if I have a girlfriend. Every single time I tell him no. Finally the other day I was like "no I am not a lesbian so let's drop it!" out of frustration. He replied with "Haha you're a lesbian, that's funny!"

WTF


I suppose it's better than the usual conversation or some slight variation on it that we have:
My son: Mommy, you have a penis?
Me: Am I a boy or a girl?
My son: You a girl, you don't have a penis. Girls don't have a penis.
Me: You're right.
My son: You want one?
Me: No I am happy being a girl.
My son: YOU WANT ONE! YOU WANT A PENIS!

I can't handle these conversations!