Monday, April 20, 2009

Crunch Time

With just a few short weeks remaining in the semester I do not know how frequently I will be blogging. Not that I'm a super-blogger, but yeah... Or I may blog excessively to avoid the mountain of crap to do and/or to take breaks, who knows. But don't abandon reading me if you don't see much between now and May 15th, I will return! I'd recommend subscribing to the RSS feed if you don't want to appear as a stalker weirdo. :P

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Giving up dreams

Back in the day when I getting ready to graduate from high school, as I have previously mentioned, I had every intent to go to school and eventually become a marine biologist. You know, like a lot of teen girls do, only I knew what it entailed and the reality was it was not playing with dolphins or whatever they think. I loved biology in school, I did well in AP Bio. Naturally this drastically limited my options for school and Florida, California, and Hawaii, all seemed way too far away for me. I began looking at schools in Maine. In the fall of my senior year my dad and I went to Maine to visit two schools, College of the Atlantic and University of Maine at Machias.

COA was gorgeous, I highly recommend image searching the buildings. The ocean was right there. I was in love with the campus but not ready for the program. It was rather extreme. They grew their own food, they had only recently began serving meat. Everyone receieves their degree in human ecology. It was too out there for my rather-sheltered Christian-family self.

I went to UMM and then became homesick and transferred closer to home. After a year at that school I decided to take a year off. And that year was rather eventful for me, including my father's cancer diagnosis so I didn't return right away. There was never an "if" I go back, I have always meant to. When my dad died I began making plans to join my then-boyfriend at RIT. Then I found out that I was pregnant, orginially I was thinking about adoption and began thinking about going to school after the baby was born. Obviously I changed my mind and promised a very mini Mini-Geek that I wouldn't go back until he was at least a year old. When he was a few months shy of two I began taking classes and now here I am, one month from graduation, well and a day I think, I don't know I'm not going.

This has a point. Stay with me. Please?

But I always wanted to go back for something like marine bio or something oceany and earthy and did consider conservation biology but I wanted the ocean experience. With Mini-Geek I am tied to this area, where there are family to help.

I am planning a vacation for next year. I've got too much going on this year since there's a specific time I want to go that consists of about a one month period and waiting until Mini-Geek is another year older probably isn't a bad idea. I want to go back to Maine. One of my friends wants to come along as well so we're starting to look at places to stay and all. I want to go before black fly season but after school gets out. None of us mind the cold so going to Maine at the end of April-beginning of June isn't ridiculous at all and we don't mind the cheaper prices and fewer people! It's touristy and all, but I think we're going to Bar Harbor. I mentioned that she needs to see the buildings at COA. And now I'm wishing I had gone there. I've wished that several times over the last few years but now that I went to their site and everything...

And the wheels are turning. She asked why I don't go there. I said it's too much, I'd have to find a new job that pays what I make and has benefits and Maine isn't known for their super-jobs, I'd have to pay for day care while I was in class and at work and I can't afford that and I won't be able to find anyone to watch him that much, no day care would take him at those hours since I work full-time and I don't want to leave him in someone's home when I just met them, that's even weirder. Heck, I'm going to have a hard time with day care being in a seperate building if it ever comes to that. Then as she complained about a lack of a calendar on a site when picking dates it all clicked. Perhaps I could do web stuff for the local places as well as remotely? Then I would only need to worry about child care while I was in class. And I cannot help but wonder if there are mama commune-type things there... But the school is expensive. Far more than UB costs, that's for sure.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Underwear? In your kitchen? It's more likely than you think.

Internet, there are underwear in my kitchen. These are not of the black lacy thong strewn about in a fit of lustful desire either. Instead they are a lovely pair of fine Spiderman and Friends little boy's size 4T tightie whities with red trim were found near the Lightning McQueen and Mater table. They feature a juvenile Spiderman on the front, a grinning Wolvervine on the left, a very ridiculous-looking Hulk (seriously, kiddie Hulk doesn't work on anything, he always looks awful) on the butt, and another young Spidey on the right side. I know they aren't truly "dirty" because a near and dear (most of the time) friend of mine decided to put them on over Mini-Geek's pajamas the other night. Exactly why Mini-Geek thought the kitchen to be an approriate place to shed and leave them is beyond me.

Currently I am trying to break Mini-Geek of the blankie habit. The severe blankie habit. He feels the need to take the thing everywhere. It's going okay. Not great but not truly awful. Just okay.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Originally uploaded by four12leafclover
I had to go download it today, I am really considering paying the $29 for the pro version. It is amazing and fun and I really need to do my Flash homework before I go to bed in about 45 minutes or so. Seriously, go get it.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Sad Post

I haven't mentioned my dad on here. On the 28th it will be four years since cancer got the best of him. Mini-Geek was a few cells big, too small for me to have a clue that my life was about to radically change in yet another way. Since his passing I have tried to make him proud, I think the dead can see us.

I talk openly about him with Mini-Geek and we have pictures of him in our apartment. We have gone to visit his grave at the cemetery many times as well.

Over the last four years I have heard from both my mom and step mom that Daddy would have been proud of me. A few days ago it all finally sunk in that he really would have and I began to cry. I mean here I am doing my best at raising this child, working, I'm in school and doing well. I'm about to have my Associate's and am transferring on to get my Bachelor's. I have a decent enough I suppose job at a well-known business and I do well at it. I have my own place that isn't too horribly much of a disaster most of the time. He really would be proud of me.

I just wish I could hear him say it.

I think that Mini-Geek sees him though. He tells me he does see Grandpa Geek. (And geek he was, when I was just a bit older than Mini-Geek he bought a Commodore 64, which brought me hours of fun. And let's not forget that Star Trek-watching he used to do, among other things.) One day not all that long ago we were in the living room and he told me Grandpa Geek was there. I asked where and he pointed by the windows and said "right there" like I was an absolute moron. I suppose I should get used to that tone because the future holds many words said like that. I asked what he was doing and he said reading my book. My programming book was on the other side of the coffee table, hidden from my view. Last week or so, nearly a month later, that same book was on my desk and Mini-Geek told me that Grandpa Geek reads that book. Also, ever since he was just a Very Mini-Geek he has occasionally acted as though someone was there when there was no one we could see, sometimes scrunching all up and giggling as though someone were tickling him.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Music::The Depreciation Guild

If you want some 8-bit awesomeness that is pretty awesome musically aside from the 8-bit awesomeness then head over to The Depreciation Guild's site, complete with free downloads!

Sleep? What the hell is that?!

When I first signed up for this whole parenting thing I heard a lot about not sleeping when you're living with a newborn.
I miss those days. I mean aside from the mouthiness, the lack of getting a drink every 10 minutes, relentlessly watching the same movie over and over, toys all over my apartment, and all of the other things that come along with having a three year old, I miss sleeping that much. Once Mini-Geek was a bit older I could go three or four hours at a time with sleep and then do what needed to be done and sleep again! Now I get about as much sleep as I got between those feedings several time a week.

I worked about 7 hours of overtime this past week. Sure I've had a job where I worked more but I wasn 't trying to go to school full-time as well. Or taking on large projects. Or had a three year old who sleeps way less than a newborn.

In other news, I did get some interesting and positive information at work the other night. I shall share more if and when it happens.

I'd type more but I have a programming project due soon that's calling to me. And a portfolio that was in progress and I now hate and will probably start over. Again.