Hey I'll give you 5 bucks if you crap in your pants

Today I learned that my son will be the kid who is offering to pay his friends to do the most messed up things his twisted little mind can think of.

He offered me five dollars to crap myself. I asked where he was going to get the money since all that he has access to is change and he told me from the bank.

Honestly if I were a teller and a 3 year old came in asking me for $5 to give their mom to crap herself I might just give him the money from my own pocket.

I ordered a Cape Sundew plant the other day. They are a carnivorous plant that makes goo that sparkles in the sun. I am wondering if I need to find Twilight vampire names to name this thing. I have never read nor watched it but I mean this thing does sparkle in the sun.

I forgot to mention...

I forgot to mention that I have become hopelessly addicted to Dollhouse. I've been on vacation (tonight is my last night :( ) and decided to check it out. I don't watch TV typically but I've heard enough that I have been meaning to check it out. Perhaps I will add the Season 1 boxed set to my Christmas list if I don't buy it before then. My Grandma already has written on my facebook wall asking what I want this year. I was a bit paranoid that some pervy friends were going to ever so kindly answer for me and I was going to quickly have to delete the second my BlackBerry chimed at me.

Produce, guts, and caulking

I have been looking up local produce. The place where I used to live had a stand right around the corner that carried a huge variety of fresh-picked fruits and vegetables but now the area I am in is a bit less rural and I don't have that convenience. So in my search for local food I found this site. They drop off food either weekly or biweekly on Saturdays right to your door, leaving it in a cooler in a pre-determined spot if you aren't home. They offer meals too, so you don't have to worry about that either. I am fascinated and may have to try them out sometime soon.

Mini-Geek has been his usual self. Lately I have been enduring countless questions about what is inside of bodies. His lovely children's book on the human body, complete with transparent people-shapes with a new system on every page apparently is not good enough. (I may have been encouraging some nerdiness when I purchased it (it was on sale!) for a 2 year old. Remember, biology was a part of my previous two college majors.) We had to Google image search what exactly it looks like inside of a human leg the other day.

My shower kept leaking into the guy below me's apartment. It was all tile, maintenance caulked it up (hehe) but a couple of days later I saw my neighbor's son who said it was back. They ended up putting a surround in and hopefully everything is fine. Mini-Geek was riveted by this entire event and I had to hold him to keep him out of the way.

I had the most bizarre dream the other night about someone I have not seen in years and haven't even thought about in forever. It was rather strange and came out of nowhere.

Warning: Children can cause serious injury.

I'm supposed to be getting up for work right around now.

But I'm here, blogging because I called in tonight.

I'm not one to normally call in but I could not sleep because I am in pain and my only defense is some lame 600mg ibuprofen, which may have to change tomorrow.

This pain was caused by the one and only Evil Mini-Geek.

After lunch he dragged every single blanket he could find into the living room, including my heavy satin comforter and my nice warm and snuggly and quite heavy microfiber one. But he was entertained so I let it be and then he wanted me to come join.

We were playing around, he's obsessed with the furniture being a boat. The blankets were part of the water. We had to go in the water. Okay, fine, I can handle this, everything is just super-de-duper. Then he had to try and drown me or something because he covered me in blankets (I despise having my head under blankets, it seriously freaks me out a little.). He must have them immediately crawled up on the couch, while I was on all fours under some blankets, and from there he proceed to leap onto my unsupported back.

It knocked the wind right out of me and then the pain started.

I ended up calling my doctor's when they opened at 1 and they had me in at 2. They found trace amounts of blood in my urine and are sending to the lab, it's looking like he injured my left kidney. They took x-rays to check out my ribs and spine as well, she said it's quite possible he cracked one of my ribs too.

Joy.

I tried to lie down but it was hurting like hell when I did, after some Internet research I am coming to the conclusion that he definitely did something to my kidney.

In other news, I turned on my camera yesterday to try and get a picture for my school ID so that I could upload it and discovered that it refuses to focus on anything anymore so I ordered a new one online. I tend to obsessively track things so I have that a random shirt from shirt.woot on the way. I love random shirt day.

Mini-Geek is proving to be stranger and stranger by the way. He wanted to lick my brother's hair "because it's different." Also, out of nowhere, he tells me yesterday that he wants to talk to transformers on the computer. Double you tee eff.

His adoration of all things science-related is growing, we have been talking about bees a lot lately. He picked out a solar system puzzle the other day too. I picked up an old globe for $3 and his geographer is coming out, he is constantly asking me what countries he is pointing to. A child's thirst for knowledge just amazes me, they absorb everything. He repeats some of this stuff to other people in his young attempts at conversation and the entire process is really something to watch.

If you follow me on twitter you can see the occasional stream of updates on super-weird stuff that Mini-Geek tends to say.